IM BACK BI&%HES

After a much needed VACAY... your boy is back... its a new season and i've got to give my reading fans what they want... I got my swag back!!!

GOTta CRAM???

Ok, So I have been in school FOREVER and have a problem. I constantly tell myself that I'm going to stop procrastinating and be proactive in regards to my exams. But I never do it. I always wait til that small window right before the exam when you get the feeling of panic and a bead of sweat forms on your forehead. Then I say to myself, "Hey, I really might fail this fu&%ing exam". So, that is where I am right now... staring down my decedents estates II exam on Tuesday and that feeling has just hit me. Instead of burying my head in my book, I decided to teach the world a life lesson and try to prevent this plague from striking those of you out there who still have a chance to beat it.

P.S. I designed that "GOTta CRAM?"... I see it on a shirt and I'm gonna sue! (I'm in law school, duh!!!)

I hate it when...

You go somewhere and you see a familiar face from the past and forget their name. In my case it was the airport. My grandmother came in from Dominica last night for her yearly visit, and my mother and I were waiting in baggage claim for her. I saw an old friend and instinctively called out his name. However, my instincts were wrong. This was not the friend whose name I had called. This in fact was another good friend that lived next to me in my freshman dorm at ECU. I knew who he was, but the fright of having called him the name of another had me lost for words. As I scrambled to pick up the pieces of what was proving to be an embarassing moment, I knew that I had but one ally. FACEBOOK!!! yes my children, FACEBOOK. The social networking of the Gods! I pulled out my IPHONE and went to work, I started surfing my pages and knew that I had one last chance to confirm his name before he gathered his luggage and left the airport. And there it was in black and white, I was right this time and had now matched my name with a face. Right as this occurred he had grabbed his luggage and was walking out of the airport... I nonchalantly turned to him and said "see you later (insert name here)". I saw the look of satisfaction in his eye and knew that my mission was now complete.

So... today I dedicate my blog to none other than Mark Zuckerberg and his facebook staff for preventing what could have been a disastrous encounter with an old friend.

BIG BURST THEORY?!?!?

ok... so what i have to say today could be construed as a bit on the vulgar or "dirty" side. But I was having a conversation w/ a friend (this friend will remained unnamed even though if you go to school with me you know who the dirtiest mind in school is) about my theory on things with the human (specifically male) anatomy. We were discussing how guys are stupid and use the wrong head to make decisions.

OK... At this point I'm sure everyone is seeing where I'm going with this... LOL

Anyways, I was explaining to her that I viewed the male genitals much in the light as I do the appendix. Follow me now... See, the appendix is one of those remnants of primitive man. It was a second stomach for humans back when we had to digest raw meat, but it is no longer needed for that function but is still in our bodies. Much like primitive man had a smaller brain and therefore men were given the penis as a second brain (LOL). Over time the brain in the head grew and the use of the penis as a brain became obsolete. However, it is still there telling us to do things when in reality we no longer need its input (hence, getting men into trouble). I backed up my theory by adding evidence of the fact that humans have like the largest penis in the animal kingdom in proportion to our bodies. Anyways, I ended this by dubbing my theory the "BIG BURST THEORY"... You may ask yourself why I dubbed it such... Well I told my friend that while both the appendix and penis are no longer needed in their primitive roles, they are there and still cause problems in our bodies because they both BURST at the worst possible time.

So yeah, look out for my theory to be published in Popular Science Magazine sometime soon.

Why?

Why do we do silly shit like strive to be better? When in the end we all are the same... ASHES and DUST

Ok, so I really don't believe that... but it's like 28 degrees in my Decedent's Estates II class and I voluntarily took this class!

The Fight For My Life...

I just survived the battle of my life with a devilish dog! I was walking through the jungles of downtown Durham, and there stood what seemed to be a mild mannered Golden Retriever. I smiled at the dog and it instantly turned into the monster dog Cujo, straight out of the Stephen King novel. It began a charge for me and I froze. I stood there as my life flashed before my eyes and knew that this was my last dance. I made the decision that if I was going to go out today, I was going to do it like a G (G= "gangsta" for you suburbanites). I braced myself for the imminent tackle from the dog and opened my eyes after a few seconds to realize that this dog was chained!!!! HAHA, I said taunting the dog and thanking American Steel for making this chain that had saved my life.

I had survived this battle today, but who knows if I will be this lucky again!

my return......

Ok... So it has been a minute since I've posted...

I've been doing a lot of trying to catch up with friends now that I have some freedom.

TODAY is mother's day... so much love to all the mothers in the world!